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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 19, 2009 23:37:16 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] Cal was starting to think that maybe this would work. Maybe it’d all get through to her. Maybe she’d be back with him for good. And there’d be no more fights. There’d be no more confrontation. He’d never hurl another thing her way out of anger again. She’d never call him names, or talk him down. They fit perfectly, he knew it. They just had to. It was a feeling he couldn’t ignore. He needed Gloria more than he thought he needed anything else. And when she died…he just wasn’t the same. Maybe, having her back again would bring back the old Callum. The one who did more spontaneous things. The one who wasn’t about to propose to an uptight kindergarten teacher. Despite how much he adored her. She wasn’t the one. Gloria was.
She seemed so happy, so content with all of this. And she was taking it all rather well. Remembering, smiling, laughing. His entire face lit up every time she laughed. She quite literally was his light. And it felt good being in her warmth after so long. Something he’d missed too much since she’d been gone. But with his challenge of the three word long commitment that light seemed to flicker. Leaning more towards the potential of burning out. What had he said wrong? Wouldn’t she be happy? He’d told her that plenty of times before she’d died. Wouldn’t she remember something good about it? Perhaps a memory? Honestly…he’d hoped she would reply with the same three-words. Make him feel hole again. Fill in that gap where she’d once been. By his side. But instead…she almost shut down. Completely.
Her grip loosened and he did his best to remain calm. No. This wasn’t how this was suppose to happen. He was suppose to help her remember. They were suppose to be happy. All that fairy-tale shit you see in the movies. But instead…she was slowly disappearing. That light had gone out. And he was almost afraid of the darkness taking it’s place. “We argued. A lot.” All he could do was stand there, stand there and stare at her. What had she remembered? What specific memory? He prayed to God it wasn’t one where he’d hurt her. Please, no. If anything not those memories. The worst ones possible. And yet as he watched her significantly withdraw…it appeared as though that was the memory she recollected. Dammit. Giving up, he nodded, his eyes now downcast. “Yeah…”
"Why would you love someone who would call you such things?" He didn’t know why. He just…did. “I don’t…know!” finally he looked up at her, something swirling in his eyes, his fists slowly balling up. This wasn’t fair. This shouldn’t be happening. “They were just…words, you didn’t mean them. Neither did I!” Looking back on it…he couldn’t really remember why they ever got into fights. Though, with time, she might be able to. Girls always had reasons for fights. At least Nat always did. Surely, despite her age, Glory would have had reasons too. "The first time I found out you were a mover..."
The tension in his body released, his mouth dropping slightly agape and his eyes widening. Why in God’s name did she have to remember that? He… couldn’t believe it. “Baby, I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean…” he took a step foreward, reaching for her, and almost immediately following she took a step away from him. Damn! Shit! Fuck! And any other obscene expression of anger he could muster. No! Not her. Don’t take her away again!
"I get that we argued...who hasn't? But you threw things at me when we argued? I made you feel like shit and would put you down? What kind of relationship was that? How can you say those three words to someone who doesn't deserve you?" He could feel the cold tone of the female from earlier return. What was her name…Gopi? Right. It was terrifying. To see the change. He’d lost her just as quickly as he’d gotten her. Almost immediately the tension returned, his jaw locking and his fists balling up. “No relationship is easy. We both didn’t mean a thing. I stayed because I loved you. I didn’t care what you called me! I know you didn't mean it. It was my fault too, Glory.” Each sort sentence was spoken between clenched jaws, short sweet and to the point. He was trying, really trying to keep himself together. He couldn’t even tell who he was talking to much less keep his story straight. In his mind’s eye he could remember begging with her when the fight got too far. Telling her he was sorry. That he needed her. He wasn’t lying. Callum didn’t lie unless he had to. And he didn’t have to stay in that relationship. He needed to. Why couldn’t she understand that.
"I was....She was weak, stupid, and immature. I don't see how you two lasted as long as yu claim you did." That was it. It was all he could take. She wasn’t stupid, weak or immature. This Gopi had it all wrong. And he intended on proving that to her. “What is this she bull shit, Glory! You are Gloria. Not this fuckin’ Guppie 90210 character!” One of his palms opened in an instant and the cement below him cracked. He couldn’t help it. He was pissed. Distraught. Pained. “We fought, it happens. Stop this, shit! I wa--dammit. I lost you once, I’m not doing it again. Don’t take yourself away from me!” He couldn’t help it, his voice cracked and pain was evident in his vocals. “Don’t let Gopi take over, you are Gloria. My Gloria!”
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 20, 2009 15:39:33 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] Gopi's stance seemed to go into complete defense mode when the cement cracked. Almost immediately, instinct kicked in and Gloria seemed to disappear as her pupils dialated while she pushed the thoughts into his head. Calm ones-soothing ones. To make sure he stayed tranquil. But though it seemed like Gloria disappeared,....
It has been Gloria to react...
If Gopi reacted, he would probably have broken arms right now.
"Don't do that..." the voice was cold and commanding, but it wasn't Gopi's. It was Gloria's. Because the sweet and caring undertones were still there...with a mix of fear that Gopi never posessed.
"Look," the petite brunette spoke slowly once he looked remotely calm,"I want to remember and go back to everything just as much as you do...But don't fuckin' freak me out like that...Cuz then one of these days I'm gonna mess up and end up breaking your arms-or worse," she was telling him this for his own good. Sudden movements were a no-no along with using powers. It was like they put a trigger in her brain that whenever a power is used near her, that predator instinct kicks in.
She had to control herself in order not to rip his head off. She remained quiet, her arms in fists and up like an 'x' over her chest as if she were going to suddenly switch over to 'mover' mode and move him as far away from her as possible. Instead-she switched to simply Gopi mode. No powers. Just pure strength. She was sure she could protect herself that way.
Gopi didn't like not being able to be fully control of Gloria. She didn't like that with certain reactions from Callum, she would emerge only to become submissive when something seemed too much for her to handle. It seemed those three words made her submissive up until he used his power, which brought out fear and protection in Gloria and predator instinct in Gopi. Mixed together, came out the push reaction to keep him calm.
"Apparently those three words scare....her," Back to Gopi. It kept switching. It even freaked the petite brunette out that there was some kind of inner war waging between two very different personalities...And that at times it felt like one was overpowering the other, "It reminds her of something she doesn't want... Guppie 90210 to remember."
Whatever it was, it simply had to be bad. Maybe Gloria didn't want her to remember the real reason she left? Why she didn't say goodbye? She didn't know what it was, but Gloria had that memory chained up tightly in a small container. She refused to let Gopi even glance at it or take a sneak peek,"If you want to hear them back-you'll have to convince her...I mean...me..."
She ran her fingers through her hair, able to calm herself and Gopi down. Jesus these personality switches were so...ahhhh....
"Cal..." she took a step closer and exhaled the air she was holding in, the worry suddenly evident in her eyes as she looked up at him, her fingers lightly tracing his jawline,"I do care about you...but I'm not the same as I used to be...it's fairly obvious...And it'll take more than one small chat in the park and reminiscing to bring me back completely and get rid of this psycho they stuck in my head..."
Gopi was fighting her. She was pushing against the white wall, trying to hard to break down the peices so she could...be free? In a way, Gopi didn't like herself. She welcomed Gloria with open arms-someone with emotions and who was just human, but then again...Though Gloria wanted to, it was as if whatever she was hiding would change everything...And maybe she simply wasn't ready for change. She wasn't ready to awaken and say hello to the world again. It was like she wanted to remain silent for another couple of years before actually trying to fix whatever happened between her and Callum... status • complete word count • 837 lyrics • sally's song, amy lee credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 20, 2009 16:29:59 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] Her reaction to his very own…reaction, seemed a bit strange. Before her death Gloria had never really stood up to him when he got mad. Never told him to stop. But he had to remind himself that before she was just human. Vulnerable. She didn’t have a power to fight back with. She didn’t have any way to made him pay in case he actually got out of hand. It was just her. Her and her little hands, and her little hips, and her little face. Everything was so small. But now…she was different. Hell, there was a whole other person inside of her. Who knew who was talking, who was reacting. Who knew if she’d ever really be Gloria again. She’d been through so much…
He wanted to yell right back at her. He wanted to retaliate. To toss something her way. But those new abilities to the test. Cal never really understood why he was alright with harming her before. Hell, he saw her as something so vulnerable, so fragile. So why would he intentionally want to hurt her? When he was mad…really really mad, he almost felt like he wanted to crush her skull. Like he could. He wished he was a bleeder and he could put her through some real pain. He wished he was a pusher and he could make her stop breathing. Maybe she had been right…maybe they didn’t belong together. If he wanted to cause her so much pain…maybe they didn’t belong at all. He even disturbed himself…what kind of relationship could have been built off of that?
But somehow…somehow he knew that they fit. That they were made to be together. At least, they had been. And since her death…he felt like there wasn’t another person left in the world for him. Despite Natasha’s sudden appearance. No one would ever feel the way Gloria did to him. And it seemed that feeling remained now. Despite how much he wanted to just pick her up, move her to him, kiss her with all the passion he’d had bottled up after all these years, he couldn’t. She was different. The fact was she wasn’t Gloria. Never would be. It was time to try and get over her again…
Immediately, he froze, his breathing calming down. His pulsed lowered and his muscles relaxed. He felt…less mad. More…wait. Callum gave her a hard stare, scoffing her demand to not tamper with objects using psychic abilities, “Don’t push me.” The phrase had too connotations. He didn’t want her messing with his mind. Like he had already tried on her. Somehow he felt justified in altering her memories in any way he could. But for her to do that on him…it didn’t seem fair. This was his mind. Callum decided his own actions, his own motives.
Now…now he couldn’t believe his ears. She was ordering him to calm down. Stop with the anger. Not use his god-given talent around her again. Or she might…she might break an arm? Holy shit was she serious? His eyes narrowed slightly and then he looked away, “Well it’d be a lot better than what you’ve done to my…heart.” No matter how cheesy it sounded, it was true. Now he blamed her for everything. Nothing was left of the feelings he’d felt previously. He was mad. Plain old mad. Eggs and bacon mad. There was no denying it. She pissed him off. All the time. All. The. Time. "Apparently those three words scare....her. It reminds her of something she doesn't want... Guppie 90210 to remember. If you want to hear them back-you'll have to convince her...I mean...me..."
He wanted…he wanted to cry. So many emotions. So little time. Not this again…not this. There was only so much he could do.
"Cal…I do care about you...but I'm not the same as I used to be...it's fairly obvious...And it'll take more than one small chat in the park and reminiscing to bring me back completely and get rid of this psycho they stuck in my head..." He stared down at her for moments, seconds, minutes. Finally, a sniffle and he bit his lip trying to bite back the burning behind his eyes. Not like this. “I’m done Gloria. Or…Gopi, or whoever the fuck you are.” Those his words were harsh, his voice was so obviously full of pain. He lifted both hands bringing them to either side of her face, they didn’t touch the skin, simply hovered, as if to emphasis how close she was…and yet how much he couldn’t have her, “ I can’t do this. I’m done trying to convince you. There is only so much I can do. I’ve been trying for…so so many years.” Two or three, give or take, “Just…Go.” With that he dropped his hands and a simple thought radiated from his mind pushing her hand away from him, and just enough to perhaps make her stumble backwards.
“Why don’t you just kill me.” Callum turned around and looked up at the sky, the tears were pressing harder against his eyes, “Kill me and…get it over with already.” It’d be so so much better than having to live with the knowledge that the girl he loved was alive…and yet dead. All at the same time.
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 20, 2009 19:21:07 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] Gopi locked her jaw at his reaction. This asshole.
First he continiously and persistantly called her this fucking 'Glory' chick. Then eh insisted that she remember and that she basically stopped being Guppie and simply went back to 'Glroia' like it was the easiest thing in the book. Then he makes all these random memories of this Gloria chick coming storming down on her mind to the point where she felt like some psycho in an insane asylum....
But that wasn't the worst. The worst was that he said those three words and expected her to say it back as if nothing ever happened. As if they were back from whenever they were together however long ago that was...
Then he tells her to kill him...
Gopi's hand moved from where it had dropped to her side in complete disbelief to wrapping around his neck and lifting him into the air. This time higher and her grip a lot stronger than before.
"You want to die?" Gopi stated, not knowing who she was-just the fact that this was all so frustrating to the point where killing him would actually be easy,"You want to know what it's like to fucking die,babe? You wanna know what real fucking pain is...then I'll show you, sugar muffin," pissed....
She could feel her adrenaline rushing through her veins as she let him drop to the floor before she suddenly screamed at him and pushing every feeling of pain Gloria had right into his head. He wanted to die? She'd make him freakin' die. If he wanted it so bad, who was she to deny him that right?
And while she screamed as a bleeder would, pushed thoughts into his head full of pain like a pusher would, she moved him as far from her as she could just like a mover would. Gopi was not a force to be rekoned with and Gopi was suddenly letting out her anger...Along with Gloria's pent up rage and grief.
"I fucking loved you," she said angrily, being able to catch up with where she threw him with such ease,"I care about you more than a fucking person should," her pupils continued to dialate widely as she pushed the images into his head. She wasn't trying to convince him, she was showing him everything through Gloria's eyes. She'd let him see the fear that rushed through her everytime he would use his powers, she would let him see her fighting for her life and the lives of others while she was off in war, she'd show him how she would fight for him against her own family, against her friends that disliked him. She'd show him how she cared so much about him and only ever felt happy...truly happy...truly complete...like she was simply in bliss even when they were argueing...That it was her happiness....She showed him everything as it rushed into her own head...
"You were suppose to stop me!" she yelled as the tears streamed down ehr face,"You weren't suppose to get mad at me when I would tell you that my dad hated you! You weren't suppose to just give up when you thought I was dead! You were suppose to just...just..."
She had started punching his chest-but there was no force in any of the punches. They were Gloria punches. Human punches. And as her voice faded, she moved away from him and turned her back to him, starting to walk away as she swallowed the knot in her throat,"If you want to die then go fucking die! See if I give two shits!" she yelled at him, but there wasn't real anger in her voice as the thoughts abruptly stopped and she seemed to close her mind back up again as she tore her eyes away from him,"You're already dead to me."
The last statement she mumbled to herself as she walked, puling up the eye screen to put down that he was terminated. That way she'd only have it done ahead of time. It was over. That was it. She wasn't going to try and get those memories back.. She was going to march over to the division center in the middle of Arizona and go get her head completely wiped again-good as new.
He wasn't worth it. If he wasn't going to try-she wouldn''t. Gloria didn't want to and Gopi didn't either. The only reason she would try was if the reward were him-even if that sounded bad enough. Regardless, if she wasn't going to have him in the end, she might as well pretend none of this happened and just go back to what she did best: murder.
status • complete word count • 1003 lyrics • better than me, hinder credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 21, 2009 19:50:30 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center]
“We’ll it’d be a lot better than this!” Obviously, he was completely oblivious to little storm brewing just a few feet behind him. He didn’t care anymore. And he wasn’t kidding either. Callum Rice didn’t lie. Not unless he really thought it could change something. And suggesting his own death should occur would not change anything. Dying might. She wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, she’d get her job done and he’d be rid of this insane ache. So honestly, Cal was ready for it. Like a child with an eating addiction shoved anything they could into their mouth, Callum yearned for excitement, entertainment, something new. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was still just one big kid. Though his more adult alter ego like to show through at more appropriate times. The man lived for the thrill. And…death would certainly be different, something he hadn’t experienced before. A grand change. So why not, what could it hurt? …Yeah, keep dreaming kid.
And then…
One moment he thought he was walking away from her, he thought it was over, and he’d go home and drink himself to death. Like was expected from him the first time he lost her. It would be one grand repeat of that couple months after the funeral. Bleak, gray, filled with incessant alcoholic tendencies. But the next moment…her hand was around his neck…again—now unless it could ever be considered some sort of extremely kinky foreplay…he really needed her to stop this—and up, up, up he went. This could not become a habit. A grown man being picked up by the neck with one hand by a female nearly half his size? Didn’t do much for the ego…
"You want to know what it's like to fucking die,babe? You wanna know what real fucking pain is...then I'll show you, sugar muffin," Remarkably each word she spat at him with some sort of venom invoked two different feelings. It was strange. Dually he was oddly attracted to this new Gloria. Strong, powerful, confident, ruthless…hot. But at the same time…he was scared shitless. But how did Callum react outwardly? Everybody now! With nothing but ease. His expression remained blank, merely focused on the struggle he was enduring simply trying to breath. And his hands patiently tugged at her our hand, again feeling the soft texture of her skin, it was almost strange to think she could wrap her hand around his neck. No matter what kind of grip she had.
Yeah, you’d think with the predicament he was in…he’d be a little more spastic, seeing his entire life flash before his eyes or something equally as dramatic. But…no. He wasn’t that afraid. She wouldn’t kill him. She just…couldn’t. He had every bit of confidence in that belief.
She dropped him to the ground and he groaned from the pain that shot up his spine, but remained there. No way she was finished. He just wished he’d seen what was coming next. Her mouth opened and his eyes—trained on her—widened. Immediately his hands clung to his ears, palms pressing as hard as he could manage into his ear drum. And yet in the midst of it, the searing pain—he could feel little pricks of pain in his back, that he knew just had to be those blood vessels reaching their limits, and his ears rang louder than a fire alarm in a high school—he managed to keep his eyes on hers. Bad move. Thoughts, tons of them, flooded into his mind. Pain. Fear. Pride. Anger. But mostly fear. And then intense pain. Memories, that he could’ve sworn were his, had it not been for them involving some sort of female. Why in hell was she doing this to him. He felt himself slide and then full on glide across the ground. How far he couldn’t tell, his eyes were squeezed shut, and his palms would’ve been digging into his brain if they pressed any harder.
For a moment she wasn’t Gloria, she was an enemy. And with that thought crying for recognition amongst the billions of other false ones currently being pushed through his mind, little bursts rippled out from his body. Though they did next to nothing, which was a scary thought considering if this were any other tracker—he assumed there were more—they would’ve killed him by then and there was nothing he could do about it, it did manage to reach her, in the form of nothing but a small breeze, blowing back her hair and disturbing her clothing.
"I fucking loved you. I care about you more than a fucking person should." He didn’t respond. He could hardly move, much less think and form sentences. But he groaned, hoping she wouldn’t try anything else before he had the time to stand up. With much effort he pulled himself to his hands and knees and finally pushed up off the ground to a standing position, glancing at the female approaching before touching an ear and looking at his hand to find that, yes, they were bleeding. This was all too much. She was pissed. He’d…he’d never felt so much pain in his entire life. And she was still hurling insults at him. It felt like one of their past fights…but to an entire other level. And yet, as he looked out at her he still felt nothing but longing. Screw what he’d already said to her. He didn’t mean it, he never meant it. Fuck. This was just like their old fights.
The thoughts that suddenly flooded his mind changed lightly in tone, regret, guilt, longing… Maybe he wasn’t alone.
She approached him, and he almost flinched, wary about what he knew she could really do.
"You were suppose to stop me! You weren't suppose to get mad at me when I would tell you that my dad hated you! You weren't suppose to just give up when you thought I was dead! You were suppose to just...just..."
That, along with the persistent thoughts and a new threat in the form of light girly punches to his chest were entirely too much. She couldn’t possibly do all this and assume he wouldn’t react the way he wanted to. Despite her newfound strength…she was still Gloria. His Gloria. And it was almost like she was too small for all that power, like she really couldn’t handle it. “Baby, I’m sorry…” He reached for her wrists as she continued to effortlessly beat his chest, but she turned and walked away before he could focus long enough to actually grab one.
"If you want to die then go fucking die! See if I give two shits!"
No…no, no, no. Suddenly his anger vanished. It was one of those…after-fighting feelings. Insane regret and guilt. He didn’t mean it! He never did! “No, no, baby stop!” He stumbled forward still trying to get over the pain, “You don’t mean it! You never do!” He knew this, he had to be right. They didn’t hate each other. “Gloria…I…you don’t mean it!” Now more than ever he hoped and prayed to God that she really didn’t. God, please don’t let it be true. In a last stitch effort he bit back the pain, trained his eyes on his goal: her, and went after her. Within what felt like a few moments he reached her, mumbling another “no” and he grabbed her elbow turned her around an…well…he kissed her.
Duh.
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 22, 2009 10:27:34 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] A kiss. She hadn't heard anything he said except the word 'no' because she had been to preoccupied wanting to kill him but forcing herself not to. She was messed up-in the noggin-more than maybe a criminal pleading too insane to stand trial. More messed than the Joker in Batman . She was f u c k e d u p.
Noone tried to kill the person they loved. Key word: tried. She loved Callum. Scartch that. She loves Callum. No past tense. The feeling was still there as fresh as it was the first time she was able to say those three words back to him all those years ago. And when he grabbed her and kissed her, she couldn't help but kiss him back. She missed him...terribly...
Both Gopi and Gloria missed him. Missed his touch, his hopelessly romantic words, his smile, his laughter, and yes...even their constant bickering like they were an old married couple of fifty years or something. They were disfunctional and even violent but they were disfunctionally and violently in love with each other.
What a mess.
What an oxymoron.
She pulled away and looked up at him, her hand gently going over his ears and basically anywhere that hurt and basically fixing him-though it would probably still hurt in the process. It was better than walking around with bleeding ears...That wasn't exactly the prettiest sight.
She shook her head lightly,"I didn't mean any of it...I'm sorry...I just...almost lost control of myself there..." her voice was quiet. Gopi usually had a lot better control than that. But then again, now Gloria was added to the mix and Gloria had little to no control.
"I do love you, Cal," she said softly, keeping her eyes locked onto his,"But I'm afraid that I might hurt you...Worse than just now....'
It was a fair reason for Gopi/Gloria to be afraid of falling in love with Cal-though she already had. She was afraid that if anyone from the Division were to find out, they would either wipe her memory again-but probably do a better job-or they would simply send another tracker to kill Cal and make sure he was out of the picture for good. It was far too dangerous-but she couldn't help but feel the way she did. This was Cal...
status • complete(sorry its short) word count • 567 lyrics • just a dream, carrie underwood credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 22, 2009 19:03:04 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] Oh God, it felt so good to be right again. For them to be touching the way they used to. Callum didn’t think he’d ever be able to see her face again much less be able to kiss her. And yet here they were. Doing just that. It was amazing. It was thrilling. It was just like heaven. Hell, he could’ve sworn she’d actually killed him and this was their heaven. Except…he didn’t think he’d be going there. With all he’d done to her. There was no way. So there again he was put in a place of pure disbelief. But he took advantage of the gift. Of her. Of her life. God, he’d be so careful with her from now on…Then again, he really didn’t have to be. It seemed she was indestructible. Again…a wonder…
She pulled back and looked at him, and before he could say or do a thing she brought her hands up to his ears and he felt the strange ringing feeling in his ears strengthen. It was almost as bad as he remembered her screeching from a few moments ago. Through the process he bit back any sign that he was in pain, simply placing his forehead on her shoulder as her hands traveled down his neck, shoulders, back and chest in the process of undoing exactly what she just did. The only person he now knew who could destroying and make it all better all the same was her. A comforting…and yet disturbing thought. She was everything that was bad for him and yet she was his cure. Like a drug. Got ya high but made you do stupid things.
She finished, and though he was still a bit sore from going through exactly the same event twice he stood back up and looked at her. “I didn't mean any of it...I'm sorry...I just...almost lost control of myself there..." He too shook his head in response. Cal had a feeling a lot of their encounters were going to end just like this. One of them saying sorry—though he figured it might be her…she was stronger than him now, another attack on his ego—and then both of them breaking down. He just hoped it wouldn’t be here every time. She should never be sorry. He’d taken enough shots on her. Now they both had some reason for the blackouts. Him because of his anger and her because of her confusion. “I know, I know…” he couldn’t help but smile, he was right, he had been right, “It happens…we…we do this…” he couldn’t help it. Think of it that way. Despite how much they loved each other, how much they’d been through, this was bound to happen. It was part of their relationship, a part that was fated to occur time and time again.
"I do love you, Cal. But I'm afraid that I might hurt you...Worse than just now....' Maybe he looked like a mad man, maybe he looked certifiably insane, but he couldn’t help it… He chuckled lightly, that smile on his face still, “I know. I can take it…” Another chuckle, he rested his forehead against hers, both of his hands on either side of his face. “Besides…” Cal kissed her lightly on the forehead before wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace, “Life without you really isn’t worth living. Never was.” She made his life worth something, mean something. He could go somewhere with her. Before he’d met her he’d just been a bum on the street, simply living. With her…they could…well they could do what he’d wanted to before she left in a rage. Get married, have kids. He knew he’d never do anything with Nat, despite how much he loved her. She wasn’t Gloria.
“I need you.” He gave her a quick squeeze, “Trust me…” Callum let her go and stood up straight, “I promise I can take a beating.” For her…he would.
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 23, 2009 20:40:13 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] "But," she began,"I don't want to hurt you..It just happens..." She didn't know how else to explain it. It really did just happen. It had taken her a while to realize she was actually hurting him. She kept forgetting that she actually could. It had simply become part of her nature now. Gee reached out with one hand and laced her fingers into his,"Spend the night at my place," she said softly,"I don't want to say bye yet."
She really didn't. She just wanted her and Call, even if it was for just one night, it was better than never seeing him again. It had been forever since she even slept with someone in the same bed and he would probably knock out pretty fast once they got to her place.....Especially the second he got to lay down on her bed. Her bed was surprisingly very comfortable, plus with the egyptian cotton bed spread, it seemed to add the perfect touch.
Gee moved closer to him, not wanting to bee too fa from him out of fear that he might disappear and this could all be one of those dreams that shows her memory...Or is telling her her future since she technically is part watcher...
And plus, it wouldn't take long to get to her place considering she could literally pick him up and run over there without breaking a sweat. They would get there in as little as two to three minutes flat. If he was hungry, her place was full of food...Well, she knew he wasn't a vegetarian like she was but he didn't need to have meat, especially at almost four in the morning...right?
Callum...She remembered how they would just stay up and talk about nonesense. It could be something on the stars to what was in the fridge and what they should pick up at the gorcery store the next day. Like the one time they went to the grocery store and he forced her into the shopping cart and got in with her and they raced down a hill and ended up cracking the eggs they had just bought, so they had to trudge back up the hill to the super market and buy some more. It had been fun, considering they crashed into a bush....
She felt so alive back then...just racing down the hill. An adrenaline rush from the fear of such a big hill yet safe because Cal had his arms wrapped around her while they screamed like idiots and went on down, despite the honking horns from angry drivers....If they were locals, they simply shook their heads saying that the two were crazy-if they were tourists they'd get pissed because they almost ran them over...
She missed those times...And wished she could simply rewind and go back to it. But she could make new ones...All she had to do was try to either not kill him-or fry her brain in the process.
status • complete word count • 672 lyrics • this i promise you, nsync credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 23, 2009 21:36:53 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] If she was going to feel so bad about hurting him he’d have to respond equally with words of reassurance: he’d be fine, he’d get over it, it didn’t really hurt. Anything to make her feel better, cause right now he found the outcome to be inevitable. It was obvious. It kept repeating over and over in his mind. He had to accept it. They would fight. They would bicker. Now he, instead of she, would get beat up. But that was a price he was more than willing to pay from the grandiose amount of happiness she brought to him. She was the only one that successfully brought a real smile to his face, the only human. He’d do just about anything for her company.
“I know, really, it’s all right. I’m a big kid now. I’ll get over it.” A sort of laugh and one hand reached up and brushed her cheek in a sort of calming manner, anything to make her feel better. Anything. “Besides…” he shifted uneasily, trying to shake it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was true, “I guess you owe me a couple punches.” He offered a shrug and one hand scratched the back of his neck. Normally Cal wasn’t so uneasy. In fact, he wasn’t ever so uneasy. Not even with her. But under the circumstances…with the situation they were currently discussing, he figured it merited a few uneasy moments. The option to feel bad or awkward. He earned that much. He could be a tough, brave guy all the time. There were cracks in the façade.
"Spend the night at my place. I don't want to say bye yet.” Her statement took him aback, and confused him at the same time. With all they’d just been through…she wanted him to come over? And…bye? What did she mean by bye? He didn’t even know who he was talking to half the time. This would take some major getting used to. Major. He felt her fingers slid in between his and didn’t miss a bit in grabbing her other hand and doing the same. Honestly he just wanted to hold her and never let go. But there was that thought again…who exactly would he be holding? Gopi or Gloria? Someone who wanted him dead or someone who was just simply a little mad at him? It was way too much to think about…And yet he too found himself unable to say goodbye.
“What do you mean ‘bye’?” He hoped this wouldn’t just be it. She’d tell him she was still alive they’d fights, kiss and make up and then part their own ways. Hopefully they’d be…well…together now. That was how his mind perceived the situation. They never really split did they? But then…then there was Natasha. He just…he couldn’t see himself letting go of her. What did this all mean? Well, it meant he was fucked. Unless he could drop one or forget the other there was no easy way around this. Natasha would not take lightly to his leaving her. She’d, no doubt, suspect he was cheating on her. Which he wasn’t…until now. Oh damn.
“You know what, never mind,” he leaned down and kissed her forehead before dropping one of her hands, “where’s your place?” He could figure out some sort of excuse for Natty. And Gloria definitely didn’t need to know about her. This could all be worked out. Later. Right now he just wanted, no needed to be with Gloria. The night he could give to her. For now.
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 23, 2009 22:22:20 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] She didn't know what it really meant to say goodbye. She just had this gut feeling, deep in the infinite parts of her mind, that something could go wrong and this something going wrong ahd to do with someone else, not the two of them. Whatever it was, Gee was going to take advantage of whatever time she had left with him, whether whatever was going to happen meant one of them was going to die, or both of them, or that they were simply going to part ways, regardless...She was going to spend as much time as possible with him as she physically could...
"In the suburbs," she said, easily avoiding his earlier question though he had said to forget about it. She turned her back to him,"Get on my back." It didn't come out as an order, surprisingly,"Either that or I'm carrying you bridal style," she chuckled at the thought,"We'll get there faster than if we just walked. It's pretty far from here."
She knew this could possibly be like a hit below the belt with him, considering most people would view this as it was suppose to be: the other way around. But Gee already proved that she was strong enough to lift him if she did so with one hand. With him on her back it would be like carrying air.
Gee didn't seem to realy wait for an answer. She seemed to easily get him on her back, a lot gentler than before, remembering that she wasn't going to toss him over her shoulder in an attempt to kill him or rip his arm out of place. She had to concentrate every time she made a gentle movement with him. Because now it was like the roles switched. Where he had to once be careful because she was human, she had to be careful with him because he was more human than she was.
And once he was on her back and chuckled,"Hold on tight..." and with that warning, she was off, stopping about three minutes later in front of a two story colonial style home. The grass was manicured, it was all white with blue shudders and abig red door, a porch wrapped around the first floor, and there was a white picket fence all around. It looked like the home Gloria used to always describe that she always wanted. Apparently they not only wiped her memory, they read it and they basically gave her everything she wanted-except minus the people. It was like keeping her in an exiled paradise. But she still paid bills like a normal person, they just gave her a job that would be able to do so.
"Did you expect some high tech home from the future?" she joked as she opened the fence walked right through after setting him down and then walked up the two steps onto the porch silently, , opening a tiny box next to the door and punching in a code before putting her thumb on it for the thumb scanner. Yeah, it was still high tech, but only for security reasons,"Well...sort of." she smiled, glancing over her thin shoulder at him as she opened the big red door, the entry hallway showing the large stair case leading upstairs and then an open archway to the right where the living room was and to the left a dining room, a back hallway towards the kitchen and breakfast room. Everything seemed very...elegant and...Gloria. Not a hint of cazy Gopi was around...
status • complete word count • 763 lyrics • human, the killers credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 23, 2009 22:45:49 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] Was…she serious? Get on her back? He thought they might…grab a taxi…get a bus…walk. But she wanted to carry him? He was all no’s on this decision. No way in hell was he gonna let a girl almost twice his size carry him somewhere. It didn’t matter how strong she was. Screw that. She was right. This was like a kick below the belt. Or worse. It was a serious cut to her pride, his dignity. There was no way she’d do it. She had to be kidding. And as he raised his hands up in protest and shook his head with something of a chuckle he was almost expected her to laugh herself and admit to how ridiculous that sounded. But as he waited in refusal no such response came. None what so ever.
But she did manage to get him on her back.
He flinched away from her grasp but eventually found himself on her. That’s right ladies and gentlemen riding on his suppose-to-be-dead-girlfriends back. What the fuck is right. The embarrassment…was almost too much. He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth at his cheeks and held on for dear life hoping no one noticed…and she didn’t drop him. Though he doubted either would happen. It was pretty dark out and…she seemed pretty damn strong already. He’d have to fix this. There was no way, like so many other things, he could let this go on. So that was fights, loosing her, natty, and future embarrassment he had to pay mind to. What a list.
When he first saw the house he didn’t really notice anything, in fact, he was still dealing with the shock of her little show. He shifted uneasily, looked around and looked back at her, “Ok…so don’t do that again.” Another uneasy laugh. Really. He meant it. Don’t do that again. And yet…he could feel that it probably was going to happen again. And again. He just hoped never in the sunlight. Never when any real damage to his ego could be done. Finally he stood back and looked up at the house. To his amazement…it almost looked familiar. If not because he’d seen it somewhere before than because he’d heard a description of it so many times before. So, so many times. This was it. Her house. Just like she’d envisioned it at seventeen and just like he’d envisioned it every time she’d speak about it.
“Wow.” He gasped, a little stunned and followed her inside. This…all of it. This was it. This was the one. The house he’d planned on buying for her. The house he planned on building for her. Just for her. It was here. And not by his doing. He felt something of a break in his heart as he glanced about and finally his gaze rested on her. “You got it.” He stated, matter-o-factly. “This…” What could he say? “I…I wanted to…I wanted to get you this.” Again…it seemed a bit unfair. And he felt a bit of that anger tugged through again. This time in the form of pain. Shame. Disappointment. This was his project. And now…now it wasn’t.
Cal swallowed and stuck his hands in his pockets. This was all of the sudden…weird. He hadn’t been alone with her for so long. And any sort of intimacy lately was shared with another girl entirely. He watched her a moment and then took a step towards the living room. “Got any blankets?” He could sleep on the couch?
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 23, 2009 23:07:02 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] "It's whatever..." she shrugged, about the house," When I came to Venice Beach, they told me this house was assigned to me-along with everything inside...I'm pretty sure they took it out of my memory or something..." she seemed to shrug it off. It was her dream house-scratch that Gloria's dream house, but it held no real memories or anything in it. Though it looked warm and inviting, it was obvious that someone seldomly stayed here, though it remained clean as Gloria and Gopi tended to be slight neat freaks.
"I would have preferred if you built it for me..." she smiled softly,"Then it might actually feel like home."
It was strange, how one could wish for something so much then when one would finally get it, it would be missing that extra something that would make it perfect. This house was missing just that,"Oh-there's two guest rooms upstairs if you want to use one," she stated, closing the door behind him before putting the purse on the coat hanger and starting up the stairs, again, her footsteps silent as fi she were walking on air. It was ahabit, having to always be quiet when tracking people.
Up the large and winding staircase, there wee large photographs on the wall that she had taken. Some of the beach, some of places like New York City, Paris, Tokyo, Moscow...Places she would go to every now and again if she had a special assignment-and would bring back some photography out of habit. But there were no pictures of people. The only picture of people was in the hallway and it held her, Bobbie, Ollie, and Ellie along with a few men in white lab coats. The main four were wearing all black, skin tight clothing and had that fierce predator look to them. It was the day they got to leave the lab/training center-happiest day in their 'new' lives.
Down the hallway, all the doors were open except for the one at the end which was where she kept all her photography things and her black room. She passed by her own bedroom, which was the largest and had the round bed right in the center and with the balcony facing the backyard and then she passed the bathroom, which looked more like an upscale spa than anything, before finally reaching the two guest rooms across from each other, the other one's door slightly ajar and the inside dark while the one she opened the door to was the one she was showing Cal.
The room was still large, a comfortable looking bed opposite that of the opened, large windows where the warm breeze was blowing in. The room had a relaxed southern feel to it...It slightly resembled the old room she and Cal used to sleep in back at his place in the Key West and Gee never came in here-or the other guest room which was one room she usually kept locked...Because it actually was a nursery-one she hated looking at. Not because of the thought of being a mother...but at the thought she probably would never be able to become a mother...It scared her-so she avoided it.
"Bathroom is down the hall and I'm in the next room over," she gave him a soft smile,"If you need anything, feel free to take it...The only thing I don't have is meat...THat-you're on your own..." status • complete word count • 751 lyrics • human, the killers credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 24, 2009 16:27:08 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] There was no lying about that…it made him feel good. Her acknowledging his existence. Saying that it might make her happier if something was done his way. If something was done regarding him at all. He couldn’t help but feel happy…and at the same time enraged. Though not by any means with her. With whoever the hell did this to her. Couldn’t they see that they ruined her life? That if anything seemed to leak through the wipe she’d be terrorized by it forever? That…that she ruined the chance of her ever having a proper relationship with any guy? What with them feeling inadequate placed up against her strength. Though he was fairly certain their goal wasn’t to have her going around with any boys. She was meant to be a machine…right? And…other than that, she’d be careful if she was in a different relationship, right? Not to over do it with the muscles. Of course she would. It wasn’t just their muscles that were strengthened.
“It…doesn’t seem fair, what they did to you…” His voice came out in a sheer mumble, one he didn’t intend for her to here. And one he didn’t bank on her responding too. It was more of a thought he let escape than anything. “It’s nice enough.” Cal nodded, his voice now louder, deeper, intentions for her to hear him built in to every syllable. It was nice. Sure, he had money, but he wasn’t sure he had the money to build her a house of this…quality. In fact, he was fairly certain he didn’t. No one did. No one but the goddamn government. He shook his head, making sure she was turned around before doing so, and proceeded to follow her up the stairs. Guest rooms. Perfect. Though he did regret not being a little more stable…not to mention brave…to be able to hold her through a night. An entire night. With Gloria. It seemed like a dream. This all did.
As she guided him down the hall he couldn’t help but notice the photography. He knew she was good before but…not this good. He appraised each photo as they passed, letting his eyes skim over each image. Finally, his eyes rested on the photo near the end of the hall, a few other kids, around her age—save for one—and some older men and women in coats. It looked…supernatural. And he knew a bit about the supernatural. This looked a little extreme. A little…science-ie. Though he had to admit she looked nice in the suit. Cal glanced at her briefly before taking a look into the room she brought him to. “Nice,” he mumbled and leaned against the doorway, his attention full trained on her. “Thanks.” Poor Natasha…what was she doing right now?
Wait…wow. Was he really torn between them? He sighed inwardly, glanced back into the room and looked at her. “Um…this all…” time to be honest, “This all…feels a bit surreal.” He took a step towards her, rubbing a few fingers against her cheek again, “I missed you.” There…he had to admit, he beat her. He thought she was dead. She didn’t even know he existed. Yeah…he’d say he had a one up on her.
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Post by GOPI 1609 on Mar 24, 2009 17:07:30 GMT -5
slow it down, make it stop before my heart is going to pop • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • [/center] Memories...It was so hard to exist without any of them. It was painful, depressing, and down right confusing. To slowly have them come back was a revelation-and she couldn't help but feel the warmth return to her once cold and dead cheeks. It was like she was having one third of this invisible weight lifted off her shoulders. It was nice, knowing she wasn't going crazy, that those random flashes of someone else's life in her dream were actually her life.
So when he said he missed her and touched her face, Gee looked up at him, that sparkle returning to her eyes-one that had been missing since the second she left Key West for bootcamp...Since the second she left Cal behind.
"I missed you too," she said quietly, her back centimeters away from the door. Her fingers lightly traced the outline of his chest and abdomen, something that seemed to just happen without her actually thinking about it. One of Gloria's old habits? No...she was Gloria. So...to rephrase that: one of her old habits...? Maybe. Maybe not. She wasn't sure.
Her lips lightly brushed against his, but she made no move to kiss him. Not yet at least. It was like she was making sure-because she honestly did not want to lose control and hurt him again. Cal meant so much to her...Now it seemed that he was back, she didn't know how on earth she was going to manage to kill people for the Division. She couldn't put it off forever. She was the notorious tracker who killed those assigned to her instead of bringing them back alive for experimentation-or jail. In a way, it seemed like she was saving them from ending up like her: completely fucked up in the head. But at the same time, she was giving them a horrible death. Whether it be to push suicidal thoughts into their mind or actually snapping their neck before they could even think about coming near her.
She wouldn't be able to. She knew she would end up bringing them back alive or injured and the Division was going to get suspicious...
But she'd keep up her confidence as impecable as only Gopi could.
So here she was, not wanting to let Cal go, yet afraid of hurting him. Intimacy. It used to come easy for them, because Gloria wouldn't accidentally end up crushing him...And because Gloria's memory wasn't wiped. Gee loved Cal...But the fear of hurting him was coming into a close second... status • complete word count • 598 lyrics • hang me up to dry, coldwar kids credit • AMANDA IN WONDERLAND !? @ caution
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Post by CALLUM RICE on Mar 24, 2009 17:47:50 GMT -5
DON’T BE SO AMAZING,
[/COLOR] I’LL MISS YOU TOO MUCH.[/COLOR][/FONT] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/center] And…that was it. All his intentions were leaning towards a smile and then hiding away in that little guest room for a while to…think. Hell, he had a lot to think about. So…it seemed fair to assume that he deserved a little bit of time all to his lonesome. As if the point couldn’t be stressed enough, up until a few days hours ago he thought she was dead. Really, truly dead. He’d accepted it. He’d moved on. Natasha was even making a good filler for her position, despite how much she wasn’t Gloria. Not in the least. Not even close. But she made him happy. At least…he thought she did. Hell, she could’ve pushed all those thoughts into his mind straight from the get-go. But…she really didn’t seem like the type.
Ah, Natasha. She was another thing he had to worry about. Despite the fact that she was back, the infamous Gloria Natty was sure to have heard all about, he still felt something of a tug in her direction. Back to her house. Back to her elementary school teaching. Back to her up-tightness. Back to her mood swings—though they nothing like Gloria’s. It was times like these…when he resented his constant need for love. It was strange. Such a free-willed, free-thinking, fun-loving soul like his…wanting so badly to settle down, to find love. To keep it. And after the major failure it seemed Gloria and his’ relationship was…you’d think he’d never be able to deal with the pain again. But here he was. Now stuck between two women.
Though right now he didn’t seem to have a problem deciding… She was so close…so damn close. And while a few moments ago he might have found this whole occurrence awkward…right now he wanted nothing more than to pull her close to unleash years worth of longing on her…no matter how…strange that sounded. It had been a while…a long while. Whereas before these sorts of things came so natural to them. As natural as saying hi. Seeing as how it normally was how they said hi. Though less normal as seen through the publics eyes. This was how they were. How they used to be. And yet…now there were so many things running through his mind.
As her lips drew close he breaths grew deeper and his eyes were trained on her, the fingers touching her cheek turned into a palm pressed to the side of her face, and then back up into her hair. “A lot…” he whispered, before swallowing. A lot? More like: So. Damn. Much. They seemed to sway like that for what seemed like eternity. Floating in close proximity. Testing the waters. And while he had all of his own thoughts racing through his brain a new one joined the rest. She was stronger than him, a lot stronger. And in an overly dramatic sort of way…it was scary. Almost like she could break him. Gloria.
But she was so close…and she smelled so nice. And…she was Gloria. Fuck Gopi. He could hardly remember Gopi anymore. Hardly had the space in his mind for Gopi. “Gloria…” Again he whispered, unable to decide. Should they…or shouldn’t they?
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